Dear Mr. Pahlaj Nihalani and other Censor Board Members,
I went to see La La Land today, as the Adult rating really got me excited. I would give up my voting right to see Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in an “A” movie. However I was shocked to find that there was nothing to sate my appetite. Nothing, nada, shunya. I am going to file a RTI application to see what made you give this an A rating.
I sat through 130 minutes of a elegant, old fashioned, beautifully shot, romantic movie. Romance, wtf, where is the gratuitous sex that the rating promised. None, not even with sheets cautiously covering offending parts. Okay, probably my expectations were misplaced, atleast some nudity would have sufficed, my hopes were belied there too. There is more nudity on Big Boss or the streets of Bangalore where men freely grope and molest women.
Now what do we have left, let’s go with abuses. I could have lived with a liberal use of the F word, something approaching 5% of Wolf of Wall Street or the first 5 pages of How Late it was, How late….but the total number of F words is….bring out the cymbals and trumpets…One. Yes, you heard me right - One - and that too uttered passingly as if the director did not want the audience to be offended. Hello, am here to be offended. Newshour at 9 has more abuses than La La Land.
Violence, gore – that should do the trick. I waited, chewing my nails up. Alas, let aside some bloodletting, the most violent part in the movie is a burnt cake.
Now I was literally deep in despair willing to take whatever scraps they throw at me, even some smooches. My hopes were dashed there too, even Hindi movies and award shows have more exchanging of bodily fluids than La La Land. Befikre had 10X the smooches and gets an UA rating. As the line in Ishqiya goes – “Tumhara ishq ishq, aur hamara sex”. Grossly unfair.
What I got instead was some knockout performances especially by Emma Stone, lovely musical numbers and background score, greatly choreographed set pieces and a deft handling of love and loss, with a lightness of touch that make it a compelling watch. Something that even kids can safely watch. But this was not what I wanted, if I wanted to watch a great movie, I will get a Criterion edition.
I was promised an Adult movie, not the cleanest and fun movie in ages. Disney’s “Moana” was better, atleast it had a “moan” in its title. And here…okay, now I get it, Mr. Nihalani did not see the movie, he thought it was a Hindi movie with a Hindi title (with the title st-uttered by Mr. Nihalani’s favourite Shakti Kapoor). Now I am not all that displeased, I have got something in return….
Yours,
A misled, but ultimately satisfied, viewer
I went to see La La Land today, as the Adult rating really got me excited. I would give up my voting right to see Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in an “A” movie. However I was shocked to find that there was nothing to sate my appetite. Nothing, nada, shunya. I am going to file a RTI application to see what made you give this an A rating.
I sat through 130 minutes of a elegant, old fashioned, beautifully shot, romantic movie. Romance, wtf, where is the gratuitous sex that the rating promised. None, not even with sheets cautiously covering offending parts. Okay, probably my expectations were misplaced, atleast some nudity would have sufficed, my hopes were belied there too. There is more nudity on Big Boss or the streets of Bangalore where men freely grope and molest women.
Now what do we have left, let’s go with abuses. I could have lived with a liberal use of the F word, something approaching 5% of Wolf of Wall Street or the first 5 pages of How Late it was, How late….but the total number of F words is….bring out the cymbals and trumpets…One. Yes, you heard me right - One - and that too uttered passingly as if the director did not want the audience to be offended. Hello, am here to be offended. Newshour at 9 has more abuses than La La Land.
Violence, gore – that should do the trick. I waited, chewing my nails up. Alas, let aside some bloodletting, the most violent part in the movie is a burnt cake.
Now I was literally deep in despair willing to take whatever scraps they throw at me, even some smooches. My hopes were dashed there too, even Hindi movies and award shows have more exchanging of bodily fluids than La La Land. Befikre had 10X the smooches and gets an UA rating. As the line in Ishqiya goes – “Tumhara ishq ishq, aur hamara sex”. Grossly unfair.
What I got instead was some knockout performances especially by Emma Stone, lovely musical numbers and background score, greatly choreographed set pieces and a deft handling of love and loss, with a lightness of touch that make it a compelling watch. Something that even kids can safely watch. But this was not what I wanted, if I wanted to watch a great movie, I will get a Criterion edition.
I was promised an Adult movie, not the cleanest and fun movie in ages. Disney’s “Moana” was better, atleast it had a “moan” in its title. And here…okay, now I get it, Mr. Nihalani did not see the movie, he thought it was a Hindi movie with a Hindi title (with the title st-uttered by Mr. Nihalani’s favourite Shakti Kapoor). Now I am not all that displeased, I have got something in return….
Yours,
A misled, but ultimately satisfied, viewer
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